Chapter 1: Drift happens

Nothing lasts forever. Elementary school ends, while kindergarten seems like yesterday. The years speed by like a blur of memories. I tried to force time to slow down, or stop, for a minute so I could suit up for the looming menace of middle school, but I can’t control time. Middle school was coming and inescapable.

With one day left, those cozy, fun-filled grade school years would soon be gone, over, finito. So long, playground, Lunchables, and Pajama Days! With middle school lurking, the only thing calming me was knowing my best friend, Emily, would be my sidekick. Together we would face the black box of middle school and explore the classrooms and dark hallways. We would plan our strategy over the summer, so we could rule on Day One!

Ever since kindergarten, we’d been inseparable. Jess Lindsey (that’s me!) and Emily Wu: widely known to our friends and teachers as Jessily. Like Goldfish and Gummies, we were great together, especially in our favorite subjects: art and music. Emily had suggested a BFF sleepover months ago to start the summer off right, just the two of us. We would plan our summer down to the last minute, including the best part: Music and Arts Mashup Camp. Every year we win the talent competition. This year we would blow it up!

Except, that dream died when my mom decided the whole family would go to the ranch for the summer. She was dragging me to a one-horse town in the Texas Panhandle. It didn’t matter what I wanted; we were going to the family ranch, whether I liked it or not. This summer was supposed to be ours. Instead, no camp, no Emily—just cows, dust, and tumbleweeds. At least we would have our BFF sleepover before I had to leave. This one night with Emily had to count. I wouldn’t get another one before school started again.

We planned to meet after school and then walk to my house. Eager to get the party started, I emptied my locker, shoveling all my supplies and personal stuff into my backpack, and rushed to the school’s main entrance to wait for her. It was hot outside, but I didn’t feel it, filled with excitement for the fun night ahead. I fired off a quick text to let Emily know my location.

Me: Waiting out front near the buses!

Emily: ...

Her response was taking forever. I waited and watched as an endless line of kids piled onto the buses. Excitement filled the air as school ended and summer fun began. Kids laughed and shouted “Bye!” and “See you at the pool!” while the yellow, idling school buses belched out stinky exhaust, making me cough.

Still nothing yet from Emily. I paced, scanning the crowd. She was never late. Fifteen minutes had passed. I checked my messages again—nothing. Then I wondered, did she say she could sleep over? We hadn’t really talked about it after my vacation plans changed. She didn’t say she couldn’t, but as the minutes passed, I remembered the awkward moments from our last hang. It was probably nothing, but she appeared to be distracted, as if her head was somewhere else. Maybe she wasn’t meeting me after all.

Another ten minutes passed, and still Emily didn’t show.

Then, I saw her. She was leaving school with Skylar, the new girl, and they were laughing and whispering. I called out, “Emily!” and she looked back for a split second. Our eyes locked. Then she turned away as if she hadn’t seen me and kept walking. I ducked behind a pillar, watching from a distance. Ashamed, my face flushed. She had seen me; I knew she did, but she acted as if she hadn’t.

Emily and Skylar got into a luxury SUV parked at the curb. Shocked, I realized that my other three friends were inside the car! It pulled out onto the street and headed in the opposite direction from my house, leaving me standing there, all alone.

Me: where are you? We planned a sleepover

Emily: Skylar has tickets to a concert and invited me

Me: sounds fun, can I join?

Emily: sorry. No ticket for you 😕

No ticket for me, but everyone else was going. How did this happen? I used to have clout in this fam. Now I was the one who didn’t make the cut. I was part of a squad, and now I was on the sidelines.

I should’ve been in that car with them. Instead, I stood in the empty parking lot as the SUV sped off, taking my friends to fun and leaving me behind. It didn’t matter where they were going; I just wanted to be included. Shattered, I walked home alone, feeling the heat now, and drained, as if my chest was hollow.

Walking home, it hit me—Emily never said she’d come over. I just assumed she would, like always. You know that uncomfortable flutter in your gut when you sense something is not right, but you can’t put your finger on it? It’s that hunch that something is coming, something different, awkward, or even heartbreaking. Until this tragic brushoff, I was clueless that my world had already changed.

The concrete sidewalk was hot, and I was sweating through my t-shirt, while the neighbor’s dog, Curly, barked at me as if I was a total stranger. My little furry friend didn’t recognize me because I was no longer part of Jessily. I was just Jess—an outcast.

The summer vacation and the stupid ranch lay ahead of me like an empty black hole. The ranch was going to be flat, brown, and prickly, with random cows and horses dotting the horizon. Not much to do but play in the dirt.

“Ugh, two months!” I groaned, sagging under the weight of my backpack. I’d never get Jessily back.

For the last two summers, Mom and Will had gone to the ranch, while I stayed home with Dad and went to camp with Emily. My parents had separated this year and Dad moved away, so I had to go to the ranch too. Why was I being punished for that? How would I survive the entire summer without Dad? Being a musician was his dream, so he moved to California. Adults always get their way, and kids end up losing out.

Life was changing so fast I couldn’t take a breath without losing something I love; my friends, my dad, my school routine—if growing up was always going to be like this, I’m out.